I know I haven’t been on here much recently, but it’s not been the best time.
I don’t quite know how to describe the crippling loneliness I am feeling right now. The past few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life and I find it impossible to stay positive. I warn you that this isn’t going to be a happy post, it’s just going to be a post where I talk about how I just wish someone would reach out.
I guess it all starts with feeling alone. I’ve felt alone for a long time, but events in recent weeks have made this feeling even worse. My flatmates haven’t helped with this. One of them outright said I shouldn’t go to her about how I’m feeling, because she has no experience of it. Another has her own issues to deal with. Needless to say, the fact I live with people and yet can go so many days seeing no one is isolating. All I really want is a hug, or for someone to take the initiative and just say hello. But we live in a society where no one seems willing to make the first move. And now I’m having a day where I can’t even move from my bed because I’m feeling so sad, so alone, and it hurts so much.
I know I am getting help, and I know things will get better. But right now it’s so difficult to not feel like I could disappear and no one would miss me.