Hey all, bit of a long post coming up so deal with me here. But hey, it’s been a while.
I’m not entirely sure if anyone reads this, but I like writing and I like talking on a platform where maybe someone will read it so I don’t feel like I’m talking to a page that can’t reply back – you’re only good for so much diary – so here it goes.
When I was last on here, I was suffering. Badly. I didn’t know what to do, I was in the middle of exams and I felt like my entire life was falling apart. I didn’t want to be at uni, I didn’t want to be in Scotland. I wanted to be at home with my family and hiding from the world because the world had proven too much for me. I couldn’t cope. But I started getting counselling, started talking about the things in my life that had destroyed me, and I began to get better.
Yes, to begin with this was all triggered by a guy. I don’t blame him, not of it was caused by him really. I like to describe it as the foundations of my life had some really bad cracks, and all it took was one crack more for the entire house to come tumbling down. Unfortunately for him, he was that final crack. So that relationship is gone and there’s no way friendship is coming from it. But I don’t really want to be friends with him. So I think all of this has worked out alright in the end.
I passed my second year of university! Go me! It doesn’t count, I’m in Scotland; but considering everything I’ve felt I was proud. Did I use the semicolon correctly? Probably not. Let’s move on. Back to passing! It felt great, very pleased with myself and I’m actually starting to be consistent and not consistently bad – so that’s a bonus. I don’t really talk about studying much unless I’m doing it, so moving on.
I’m back home now, with my lovely cat. I need to upload a photo of him at some point, because he really is my favourite. Oh look at you telling me I’ve spelled favourite incorrectly computer. Shut up. I’m not American, the ‘u’ is important. So yeah. Back with the family, back with the three (?) friends I have in this town. But hey, the family are good. I’m painting my Warhammer models with my brother and we’re having some sibling time. Also we booked to go to New York! First family holiday since I was 9 (I’m 21 in September, it’s been a long time involving a divorce and a late father, I’m sure you’ll get the story someday) so I’m pretty excited. Family time is something I finally appreciate.
I go back to Edinburgh at the end of this month, and will have a new flat! Again, this is a massive positive because my old flat was slightly toxic. Also, awful internet. So I’m looking forward to living with new people and getting to know different friendship groups and essentially just feeling like a student that is actually happy again. That has been a while.
I think that’s all for now. Basically, it’s late, I want to sleep, I’m lazy. I bought some more makeup brushes? That’s the news for today. Promise I’ll actually post more soon. Love ya.